Verbal Red Flags: “They should be thankful they have jobs at all.”
By Alexander Lyon, Ph.D.
I once heard an executive say, “They should be thankful they have jobs at all.” He was responding to employees’ complaints about an abrupt change. A manager is most likely to make these statements when he or she feels attacked because employees are complaining about new policies, schedule changes, etc. However, statements like this are verbal red flags that we are about to lose credibility.
Of course, the reality is that we should all be personally thankful we have jobs. This is true. That is not the issue here.
The fact is that we usually use the they-should-be-thankful statement to deflect a criticism of us or of an organizational practice that we have supported. We sometimes deliver this message with an implied “or else” edge. We really mean, “They’re lucky I didn’t fire them and I just might if they keep complaining.” It can come across as a threat.
It is normal to feel personally attacked when others question our decisions. After all, we’re not as in control of things as employees think we are. I was once working at an organization and witnessed some executives above me make what I felt was a poor decision. Employees complained to me about it but there wasn’t much I could do. They saw me as the enemy. I felt tempted to remind them that they were lucky to have jobs at all. Lucky for me, I held my peace.
The truth is, most employees don’t understand the pressure leaders are under. They don’t realize how many times managers must decide between the lesser of two evils. When we are criticized, we get tempted to put people in their place with a verbal shot over the bow. But, that’s not leadership. We can’t build great organizations like that.
Even if our they-should-be-thankful approach silences the complaints for an instant, we may unintentionally fan the flames and escalate the situation. Even worse, if we feed our they-should-be-thankful attitude, we can mentally devalue of our most valuable resource, our people. Our people make our organizations succeed or fail. We need them on board. We do not want to be the type of leader who gets patronizing under pressure. We can do better than that.
We should view thoughts and statements like this as a signal that the pressure is getting to us and that we may be on the brink of losing credibility. Instead, we can use pressured situations like this as an opportunity to stretch our leadership to a higher level. Here’s that we can do when we or our policies get criticized.
(1) Gather good information. Ask your front-line supervisors about their views. Front-line supervisors hear everything and can separate the genuine concerns from the chronic complainers. If you are a front-line supervisor, ask the employees whom others trust the most. “What have you been hearing about X change? How serious are these concerns? What do you suggest we do to address it?” Listen and take notes if necessary.
(2) Sleep on it and reflect. Let your perspective on the issue mature. If you’re the praying type, pray for wisdom.
(3) Develop a clear and simple plan. What inaccurate perceptions need to be cleared up? Can a balance be struck or adjustments made? What are some realities that we will all need to accept as the company moves forward? Get back in touch with your front-line supervisors to get the word out.
If employees react negatively to most decisions in your organizations, you may want to consider gathering information from front-line supervisors before a decision is final. Taking a consultative approach to important decisions will help build long-term trust and credibility.
Dr. Alexander Lyon is a professor and professional speaker and can be reached via www.alexanderlyon.com
By Alexander Lyon, Ph.D.
I once heard an executive say, “They should be thankful they have jobs at all.” He was responding to employees’ complaints about an abrupt change. A manager is most likely to make these statements when he or she feels attacked because employees are complaining about new policies, schedule changes, etc. However, statements like this are verbal red flags that we are about to lose credibility.
Of course, the reality is that we should all be personally thankful we have jobs. This is true. That is not the issue here.
The fact is that we usually use the they-should-be-thankful statement to deflect a criticism of us or of an organizational practice that we have supported. We sometimes deliver this message with an implied “or else” edge. We really mean, “They’re lucky I didn’t fire them and I just might if they keep complaining.” It can come across as a threat.
It is normal to feel personally attacked when others question our decisions. After all, we’re not as in control of things as employees think we are. I was once working at an organization and witnessed some executives above me make what I felt was a poor decision. Employees complained to me about it but there wasn’t much I could do. They saw me as the enemy. I felt tempted to remind them that they were lucky to have jobs at all. Lucky for me, I held my peace.
The truth is, most employees don’t understand the pressure leaders are under. They don’t realize how many times managers must decide between the lesser of two evils. When we are criticized, we get tempted to put people in their place with a verbal shot over the bow. But, that’s not leadership. We can’t build great organizations like that.
Even if our they-should-be-thankful approach silences the complaints for an instant, we may unintentionally fan the flames and escalate the situation. Even worse, if we feed our they-should-be-thankful attitude, we can mentally devalue of our most valuable resource, our people. Our people make our organizations succeed or fail. We need them on board. We do not want to be the type of leader who gets patronizing under pressure. We can do better than that.
We should view thoughts and statements like this as a signal that the pressure is getting to us and that we may be on the brink of losing credibility. Instead, we can use pressured situations like this as an opportunity to stretch our leadership to a higher level. Here’s that we can do when we or our policies get criticized.
(1) Gather good information. Ask your front-line supervisors about their views. Front-line supervisors hear everything and can separate the genuine concerns from the chronic complainers. If you are a front-line supervisor, ask the employees whom others trust the most. “What have you been hearing about X change? How serious are these concerns? What do you suggest we do to address it?” Listen and take notes if necessary.
(2) Sleep on it and reflect. Let your perspective on the issue mature. If you’re the praying type, pray for wisdom.
(3) Develop a clear and simple plan. What inaccurate perceptions need to be cleared up? Can a balance be struck or adjustments made? What are some realities that we will all need to accept as the company moves forward? Get back in touch with your front-line supervisors to get the word out.
If employees react negatively to most decisions in your organizations, you may want to consider gathering information from front-line supervisors before a decision is final. Taking a consultative approach to important decisions will help build long-term trust and credibility.
Dr. Alexander Lyon is a professor and professional speaker and can be reached via www.alexanderlyon.com